Okay, without swear words...
This movies bites everything bad really hard.
Don't get me wrong. Even if a movie is BAD, I can still often get a kick outof it. Some bad films are so bad they're fun: Roadhouse, Kingdom of theSpiders ("starring" William Shatner), Orgy of the Dead, Cool as Ice,Battlefield Earth... This one's just plain bad. I'm not sure if I can EVERforgive myself for having watched it. I swear, my eyes and ears beganbleeding about twenty minutes into it. Still, I waited for something so badit was funny. It didn't happen. Just plain bad. No, not "just plain bad,"but really bad. Really, really bad. I truly can't say how bad it was on thispost without resorting to, and making up new, swear words.
That said, I was unfortunate enough to stumble upon some show on MTV aboutcelebrities' homes during a segment about Pariah Careless herself. Let'sjust say that I used to think she was the Devil. Now I know that there areworse, more pretentious, and just all-around truly more terrible andterrifying things than the Devil. She's straight out of H P Lovecraft'sCthulhu mythos. A slimy many-tentacled thing waiting to devour humankind'shappiness to further its own demented, sickening Ends.
And if you think I'm being flippant or sarcastic, let me set the recordstraight: I am not religious, but I fear I may be in mortal danger forhaving exposed her as the the Evil Lurking Thing that she is. I pray tounknown benevolent gods that I never hear the wet, poison tentacle-clawsscratching their way in through my door. I hope my death will be quick andpainless when the Mariah-thing comes to reap my soul.
By the way, I really didn't like this movie at all.
Glitter (2001) 720p YIFY Movie
Glitter is a movie starring Mariah Carey, Eric Benét, and Max Beesley. A young singer dates a disc jockey who helps her get into the music business, but their relationship become complicated as she ascends to super stardom.
IMDB: 2.21 Likes
The Synopsis for Glitter (2001) 720p
Billie Frank is a shy, young multiracial girl who is sent away by her alcoholic mother at a very early age. At an orphanage, she befriends Louise and Roxanne. Flash forward to 1983. Billie and her friends are spotted by a record producer, Timothy Walker, who wants them to sing backup for his latest pop-music discovery. But when super DJ Julian Dice hears Billie's incredible voice, he makes a shady deal with Timothy to get her out of that dead-end situation. Soon, Billie and Dice are making hits inside the studio, and falling in love outside of it. Eventually, the pressure of her newfound celebrity puts too heavy a strain on Billie, forcing her to decide what it is she really wants from Dice, and what she wants for herself.
The Director and Players for Glitter (2001) 720p
The Reviews for Glitter (2001) 720p
Reviewed by"Boognish"Vote: 1/10/10
Okay, without swear words...
Simple rule, if you are going to make a movie vehicle for a non-actor,surround them with some good actors, so if they turn out to have all theacting ability of a tin of tuna, you still have some hope of making themovie just bad, rather than bowel clenchingly awful.
This rule is ignored, the result is a piece of dross, that was so bad Mariahhad a nervous breakdown when she watched it, so bad that Virgin executivesgave her $15 million as long as they would never have to watch it again, sobad, well you get the point.
If you want a storyline, easy, mom is black, dad is white. Mom doesn't wanther, dad doesn't want her. She wants to be a star, black and white guysfight over her. Lots of tradgedy. Lots of singing, lots of walking around intight dresses. Everything ends up OK.
I can think of nothing that would recomend this. If you are a fan of Mariah,she isn't photographed that well, there are no big stand out tunes. If youaren't, then, you are looking at a movie which everyone involved with isobviously embarrased about.
Some bad movies, such as Showgirls or Mommie Dearest, become camp classics over time as people come to forgive their shortcomings, and just groove on their excesses. That a movie as famously bad as Glitter has not entered this realm of camp, even after fifteen years, is telling. It tells us that Glitter commits a higher sin than being bad. It is boring. And derivative. And staggeringly incompetent. It was assembled by c-list writers and a TV director, none of whom had much idea how to gain a viewer's attention, and less idea how to hold it. Scene composition is flat and dull, evoking memories of bad holiday TV movies, while failing to establish intimacy with the characters or goings on, even in close up. Early scenes feature a hazy or gauzy look, no doubt to recall Hollywood's golden age, but that simply succeeds in making the movie look trite and derivative, rather than classic. It also makes it look as if the set decorator forgot to dust. The club scenes feature a color palette straight out of Blade Runner, just not as cheery. Every creative element in Glitter has the look of something borrowed from another (better) movie. And the less said about the bizarre, almost random editing choices the better. Every scene transition is another wtf moment.
Story and script construction are uniformly terrible. Scenes begin, stuff happens, scenes end... and NOTHING carries over. There is no continuing thread here of any kind - no overall character arc, no central theme, no ongoing visual motifs outside of the movie's hilariously inaccurate 80's fashion sense. Everything that happens seems utterly pointless, just a string of clichés recycled from old movies in which the chorus girl gets her big break. Glitter's brain-dead script gives none of its performers, not even once by accident, anything original or clever to say, nor any awareness of the storyline's utter inanity, making it increasingly difficult for the viewer to connect with the drama. And then we come to the Razzie-winning central 'performance'. La Carey could have been replaced by a Miss Piggy doll and the central role would have had more animation. Mariah's singular expression of vague incomprehension never changes, not even when gangster Terrence Howard grabs her face! To be fair she is not Glitter's only zombie marionette. Outside of Ann Magnusson's over-the-top pr woman, no actor in Glitter's 100 minute running time seems committed to being in any way memorable. A cynical person might suggest that they did this so that they could keep Glitter off their resumes without fear of contradiction. The result is a movie that defies any viewer to keep paying attention to it. You find yourself wanting to make a salad or do your taxes while the movie is playing, anything so that the time spent watching it is not a total waste.
This brings us to the music. Hollywood seems to have forgotten that the most important element in any musical is music, despite the fact that the word is right there in the name of the genre. Grease turns into a pretty bad movie whenever the singing stops and The Bodyguard is only marginally better. Both were huge hits however, and the fact that their soundtracks went multi-platinum was not a coincidence. Purple Rain features some downright cringe inducing 'acting' by Prince and Appolonia, but redeems itself time and time again with great musical performances. Viewers will put up with so-so filler in a musical as long as the songs entertain and remain in the mind after the credits roll. Glitter, unfortunately, features Mariah's worst ever (and worst selling) album at its core. Not only are the musical sequences not entertaining on their own, but they also make it hard for the viewer to swallow the idea that fictional Mariah would become a superstar on the strength of them, since actual established star Mariah could not manage to peddle them in real life. Thus, the fictional Mariah fails to engage as a performer, the actual Mariah fails to cross over into Hollywood despite having great singing talent and only having to play a person with singing talent, and even the spectacle of these failures fails to entertain on the basic level of a train wreck.
Glitter simply cannot provide an adequate reason to exist. Mariah's musical ability has already been showcased in a long succession of music videos, to better effect, and so we don't need Glitter for that. Rags to riches musical biographies have been done to death, so we hardly need another. The Girl in the Gold Boots told substantially the same story to drive-in goers fifty years ago! Heck, 42nd Street wore out this clichéd genre in 1933. If Glitter's only purpose was to act as a 100 minute commercial for its own soundtrack, as the Pokemon cartoons are simply ads for Pokemon toys, it fails there too, since it makes these crummy songs even less palatable in context than they would be standing on their own. So why does Glitter still exist? Was it financed by someone with a grudge against Mariah Carey, and she never caught on that she was being pranked until after its release? As a practical joke played on a gullible and vain pop diva, Glitter is pure malevolent genius. If, however, we were meant to have taken it seriously, then it's just a really, thoroughly worthless movie.
Poll question: Which pop diva embarrassed herself worst? JLo in Gigli, Jessica in The Dukes of Hazzard, Britney in Crossroads, Clarkson in From Justin to Kelly or Mariah in this piece of drek? I vote Mariah in a close race.